Sometimes I'm a disaster

Sometimes I get it together...often I don't.

4 Words to Heartache.

Page has a very shrill scream...ear piercing. Whether it's done as a result of delight or frustration I would honestly rather not hear it. Tonight she screamed a few times in a row, and each time I asked her not to. After the third, and because I guess we're doing this now, I told her if she screamed one more time there would be a time out. And of course she did, so there was. I took her to the time out spot, obviously she was not happy about it....but there was no yelling or sobbing. As soon as she realized she had to stay there, she just looked sad and said "mummy I good girl." And then my heart broke into a million pieces. And I nearly burst into tears. That she would think even for a second that I thought she was "bad" is unbearable to me. I never tell her she is bad, she might be behaving in a rude or unacceptable way that needs to be dealt with, but she is not bad. As far as two year olds go, she's unbelievably cool. On reflection, this is the first time I have ever had the feeling that she really understood my frustration and didn't want me to be mad at her, and when I think about it each of those million pieces breaks again. Man, I'm such a Mum sometimes.

Song

You want to keep me waiting
It could never be long enough

I don't wish we were together
I just wish we were in love

I'll always let you count on me

And I can't be honest without a melody

I would love to comfort myself with
If you only knew
Trouble is
I know you already do.

Re-commitment

OK, gonna blog again. Lots to be excited about...not this blog specifically, definitely other stuff.

A question of torture.

How do you really forgive yourself? It's been six years and I think it's time I learn.

Fuck yeah OK Go!

I only have one reason to go to the Stampede these days. If there is a great band playing on the Coke Stage it is worth the $14 admission and hassle of having to suppress the desire to punch douche bags in the face. Last night OK Go were that band.

I've loved OK Go since I first heard them in 2001/2002, and I've seen them three times now. Once in 2005 at the Commodore in Vancouver opening for Kaiser Chiefs, once in 2007 opening for Snow Patrol, and last night. They never fail to impress me live, but last night was spectacular. They are confident performers and able to pull of their recorded sound effectively live, and when given a chance to just be themselves (IE: not as an opening act) they really got to show their stuff. I love watching a band who seem genuinely overjoyed to be on stage playing, and who are self-ware yet don't take themselves to seriously.

I have so many favourite moments from last night, here you go:

1. Damian notices a group of 4 doing the entire dance from their video for "A Million Ways", so he invites them to the stage. A couple of songs later they play the song again so the group can perform for everyone. Awesome.

2. The band performs "What To Do" entirely on hand-bells, noted to be the instrument that God himself created...this was the wholesome family portion of the set. Really awesome.

3. Damian makes his way into the middle of the crowd with a guitar and mike to sing a "campfire song." This is because he can pretend to be a cowboy too. He even dons somebody's hat. Freakin' awesome.

4. On his way back to the stage he notices me standing there with my hand raised and reaches over to give me a high five. I am a fan girl....extra awesome for me.

5. Tim and Damian's excellent banter while getting the crowd to practice for "This Too Shall Pass." Hilariously awesome.

I love you OK Go!

Where did the "World" go at the World Cup?

World cup is an exciting time for me because I've been a football fan my whole life. My team, as decided for me by my Dad at birth, is Liverpool FC. I've only attended a few big games, one at Anfield to watch Liverpool when I was about 8, one to watch my home town team Preston North End at Deepdale, and one here in Canada to watch Canada vs. Trinidad & Tobago in a World Cup qualifier in Edmonton 2001. I remember them all. The atmosphere at a live professional football match is unmistakable, thrilling. The World Cup is especially so; like at the Olympic games, people from all over the world come together to cheer for their country, in their own way, and in their own language.

This tournament has been an exciting one; there have been underdogs proving their worth and supposed powerhouses struggling, freak outs, great goals and near misses. Something is missing in 2010 though. In a place as vibrant as South Africa, I had expected the matches to seem like giant parties. But they don't. While watching the England vs. Slovenia match a couple of days ago, I realized why. When Defoe scored for England, the commentator said "the English fans are singing We're Not Going Home Yet!" which they probably were...unfortunately I couldn't hear it.


Football fans are well known for singing songs or chants during matches, it's just like cheering for a goal or yelling at the referee. At this World Cup we have become accustomed to the droning sound of thousands of vuvuzelas in lieu of singing. There was brief talk that the vuvuzela would be banned from matches, the main argument against banning was that the instrument was representative of the way South Africans like to celebrate and to ban it would be "Europeanizing" the tournament. So instead of listening to the Spanish sing "Cielito Lindo..." or the Germans chanting "Deutschland-Deutschland!" or perhaps being treated to a rendition of

"Steve Gerrard, Gerrard.
He's big and he's feckin hard,
he'll pass the ball 40 yards.
Steve Gerrard, Gerrard "

we hear this:



To football fans and non-fans alike, no matter what language they speak, a match often sounds like this:



Is it really a fair comment to say that taking the vuvuzela out would be taking something away from the host nation? I don't think so. South Africa has been a joyful host, I would love to hear their songs. Sadly, I think the "World" has been droned out of the World Cup this year.