A question of torture.

How do you really forgive yourself? It's been six years and I think it's time I learn.

Fuck yeah OK Go!

I only have one reason to go to the Stampede these days. If there is a great band playing on the Coke Stage it is worth the $14 admission and hassle of having to suppress the desire to punch douche bags in the face. Last night OK Go were that band.

I've loved OK Go since I first heard them in 2001/2002, and I've seen them three times now. Once in 2005 at the Commodore in Vancouver opening for Kaiser Chiefs, once in 2007 opening for Snow Patrol, and last night. They never fail to impress me live, but last night was spectacular. They are confident performers and able to pull of their recorded sound effectively live, and when given a chance to just be themselves (IE: not as an opening act) they really got to show their stuff. I love watching a band who seem genuinely overjoyed to be on stage playing, and who are self-ware yet don't take themselves to seriously.

I have so many favourite moments from last night, here you go:

1. Damian notices a group of 4 doing the entire dance from their video for "A Million Ways", so he invites them to the stage. A couple of songs later they play the song again so the group can perform for everyone. Awesome.

2. The band performs "What To Do" entirely on hand-bells, noted to be the instrument that God himself created...this was the wholesome family portion of the set. Really awesome.

3. Damian makes his way into the middle of the crowd with a guitar and mike to sing a "campfire song." This is because he can pretend to be a cowboy too. He even dons somebody's hat. Freakin' awesome.

4. On his way back to the stage he notices me standing there with my hand raised and reaches over to give me a high five. I am a fan girl....extra awesome for me.

5. Tim and Damian's excellent banter while getting the crowd to practice for "This Too Shall Pass." Hilariously awesome.

I love you OK Go!

Where did the "World" go at the World Cup?

World cup is an exciting time for me because I've been a football fan my whole life. My team, as decided for me by my Dad at birth, is Liverpool FC. I've only attended a few big games, one at Anfield to watch Liverpool when I was about 8, one to watch my home town team Preston North End at Deepdale, and one here in Canada to watch Canada vs. Trinidad & Tobago in a World Cup qualifier in Edmonton 2001. I remember them all. The atmosphere at a live professional football match is unmistakable, thrilling. The World Cup is especially so; like at the Olympic games, people from all over the world come together to cheer for their country, in their own way, and in their own language.

This tournament has been an exciting one; there have been underdogs proving their worth and supposed powerhouses struggling, freak outs, great goals and near misses. Something is missing in 2010 though. In a place as vibrant as South Africa, I had expected the matches to seem like giant parties. But they don't. While watching the England vs. Slovenia match a couple of days ago, I realized why. When Defoe scored for England, the commentator said "the English fans are singing We're Not Going Home Yet!" which they probably were...unfortunately I couldn't hear it.


Football fans are well known for singing songs or chants during matches, it's just like cheering for a goal or yelling at the referee. At this World Cup we have become accustomed to the droning sound of thousands of vuvuzelas in lieu of singing. There was brief talk that the vuvuzela would be banned from matches, the main argument against banning was that the instrument was representative of the way South Africans like to celebrate and to ban it would be "Europeanizing" the tournament. So instead of listening to the Spanish sing "Cielito Lindo..." or the Germans chanting "Deutschland-Deutschland!" or perhaps being treated to a rendition of

"Steve Gerrard, Gerrard.
He's big and he's feckin hard,
he'll pass the ball 40 yards.
Steve Gerrard, Gerrard "

we hear this:



To football fans and non-fans alike, no matter what language they speak, a match often sounds like this:



Is it really a fair comment to say that taking the vuvuzela out would be taking something away from the host nation? I don't think so. South Africa has been a joyful host, I would love to hear their songs. Sadly, I think the "World" has been droned out of the World Cup this year.

Neglectful Blog Owner...

Baby: What a strange little existence she has. Hands in food, feet up on the high chair, dragging self along the floor, naps (sometimes parent-mandated.) Just learning how to be a person. I think she's doing a pretty good job. She has fed herself her entire lunch twice in the last few days, started to "crawl" and tried to pull herself up. Big accomplishments! It's quite interesting to watch.

Rock: The big show this weekend! I'm still attempting to plan the going away gig for Tall Guy, I'm sure I'll figure something out. Girl Band is going well, though I wish we could practice more. I feel like this is going to work out, like this is the right time for me to be doing it.

Philosophy: Hmmm, nothing really but an addition to the "Baby" thought. When do you really become a person?

Life: I often hang around an online forum by the magazine "Wedding Bells." There is a section called BabyBells that has provided me with many answers and assurances when Dr. Google has revealed that the issue I'm having with P is in fact the worst thing ever. There are also a number of interesting characters that post there. Today I read my favourite kind of thread...I knew it was a good one because it was already at 6 pages by the time I saw it. It's the "fired up!" thread, where everyone is up in arms for one reason or another. The poster was writing about a Facebook group called "Boycott Redbook Magazine." Apparently Redbook published an article about a woman's struggle with breastfeeding that ultimately came off as being kind of anti-breastfeeding. I read the article and I agree it wasn't terribly balanced, but it was also one woman's personal experience. Anyway, the zealots have come to this group in full force, figuring they have a safe place to sound off on how lazy and uncommitted non-breastfeeding mothers truly are. Formula is described as "poison." It's all quite offensive to say the least.

Why are mothers constantly forced to explain and justify their choices? There seems to be a dichotomy when it comes to child care, and there always seems to be a "vs." between the options. Breastfeeding vs. formula feeding; cloth diapers vs. disposables; jarred food vs. home made; Baby Lead Weaning vs. spoon feeding; babywearing vs. strollers. Constantly in opposition, always a battle.

P is my first and will be my only child. I had no idea how to care for a baby before she arrived, and with every new stage she arrives at I learn new skills and make more choices for her. She doesn't rely on me to worry about the choices other mothers are making. Sometimes when I talk to other mums they tell me why they do the things they do, sometimes I tell them. It generally leads to interesting discussion and one or both of us may learn something. My suggestion? Replace "vs." with "and."

Mini-post.

Generally I despise nonsensical phrases that enter the popular lexicon, get used extensively for about three months, then drop off in favour of the next one. Especially if those phrases are actually just "textspeak" (see: OMG, LOL, etc.)

I'm going to admit, in the safety of my blog, that there is one I enjoy. It is......

FTW!

Also, last night while watching the "100 Greatest Hard Rock Songs" I heard someone describe the opening riff of Enter Sandman as follows: "That riff doesn't care what you're doing. You're making a sandwhich? Put it down..." Awesome.

Just for you JayHay...

Baby: We have a tooth! Things seem to be getting back to normal for Little Miss, she's happy, I'm happy.

Rock: News! The Fischer Account (AKA the Man Band) has a show June 26th at Shotz in the NE. We'll be playing for an hour or so with a few other bands including the Nate Pike Band. So if you're craving some alternative man-rock cover songs sang by a girl and played at extreme volumes then you're in luck! Also, I'm in the early stages of planning a going away gig for Tall Guy, probably the second weekend in August. Most likely three bands, Man Band in the middle, possibly Nurse Band closing AND...wait for it...maybe the debut of the Girl Band! I'll keep you posted by updating the blog more...as suggested by JayHay.

Philosophy: You decide what you are. Think very carefully about the things that concern you, if they should concern you, and where your energy may be better directed. That's a philosophy mash-up.

Life: Last Sunday I ran my first 10 km since before I was pregnant. So, for those keeping score, that's since December 2008. I've been really stuck at this 5 km distance since having P, I don't know what was keeping me there. I had hoped to be ready to run another Half by this time, but that was obviously not happening, so the day before the race (it was Marathon weekend) I decided to register for the 10 km. It was my slowest 10 km ever at a whopping 1:18, but it has broken me out of my rut and I feel like I accomplished something. I felt great after, despite the back pain, and ate a number of post-race Oreos. So the training plan has been concocted, and I'll be ready for my Half in September. Also, 2011 is going to be the year of the Marathon for me. You heard it here first.

In other news, the series finale of Lost has been and gone and I'm working on posting my thoughts about the episode, the series and the future of the Lost community.

But she's so cute...

Baby: We have a whiner. I'm not entirely sure why, but whining is the name of the game right now. Ugh, I'm sure it's just a phase as she gets over the "Great GI Upset 2010." That is what I shall keep telling myself. We still have happy, smiling baby for at least a portion of the day!

Rock: Girl band practice tomorrow, Man band on Sunday. In sad news, the Man band's freakishly tall/ridiculously over-educated guitar player is leaving us to go to Medical School in Edmonton this Fall. Hubby and I are going to discuss with Drummy the possibility of continuing as a three piece. I think that would be great, less schedules to think about. I'm going to miss Tall Guy though. Favourite song right now: "Back Against the Wall" by Cage the Elephant.

Philosophy: Be aware that your knowledge is made possible by the system in which it was created. You only know the things you know because you know them now. Name that philosopher.

Life: I'm starting to think seriously about my return to work in the Fall. The original plan was to try to work a day shift, but now it's looking like I may end up on the 1600-0200 shift again. P would have to sleep over at SIL's two nights, but I would get to spend more time with her since I would be home during the day, and my schedule would be more open for classes. We'll see. In unrelated news, season/series finale of Lost on Sunday=both :) and :(.

Four movements, one post.

Baby: I've been a parent for nearly 8 months and the hardest thing is getting over everything ONCE. A couple of months ago P had a nasty cold...you know, congestion, coughing, snot everywhere, gagging on mucous and all sorts of other awful descriptions. But we got over it, and now we know how. Last Friday marked the beginning of "The First GI Illness." Non-stop vomiting. Out of sorts. Ugh. But now she's on the mend. We got over it. Life is no longer inexplicably crappy for Little Miss and she can get back to the business of flinging Sophie the Giraffe.

Rock: There were two lines standing in the way of a finished song, and it turns out they were the following:

You try to keep me guessing

I try to tell you I don't care.

Girl band practice soon.

Philosophy: How can I now avoid devastation when I finally have so much I could lose? Does the desire to remain strong in the face of loss have any place in my life any more?

Life: When did the word "mommy" become a way of describing action instead of a noun? Mommy blogger? Mommy guilt? Mommy rage? Give it a rest. Make it possessive, or better yet...never mind, I'm going to get myself in trouble.

Today is the day...

...that I start a blog. Yup, it's happening. Stay Tuned.